2. The Stress of living with uncertainty

Written By Kendall Beaudry

Initially, Covid was considered to be a great equaliser because we are all at risk of getting the virus. As it continues to play out, it’s starkly clear that this isn’t the case given our deeply embedded structural inequalities whereby ‘health equals wealth’ [1]. For the fortunate, the pandemic provided opportunity and also rest. By contrast, many are fighting for survival and still trying to make ends meet. No matter how small or tragic your experience has been, all of us are living in suspense of the virus and up against uncertainty.

The constant risk calculations we make for ourselves and others in fear of airborne virus transmission have an indelible long-term impact on our minds and bodies [2]. It affects how we move in the world, at what times, and in which places. It affects our perception of what we think vulnerability looks like and how we relate to one another in this distanced way. What remains is a residue of anxiety that is hard to wipe off – (no matter how effectively you wash your hands!). In all totality, these times are stressful.

There are three factors that lead to stress: “uncertainty, the lack of information and the loss of control.” [3] This couldn’t more accurately capture what happens to humans in a pandemic.

LimbicSystem.jpg

What we may not have realised is how stress is experienced in our bodies and minds in three ways:

  • First, there is the event itself that can be physical or emotional where you experience the stressor.

  • Second, is how we interpret the event using our nervous systems and brain to process it and assign meaning to the experience. (As an aside, this is a very significant part of CBT where we redefine a thought or event to consider if the meaning has any bearing on our lives any more).

  • Third and lastly, is how the stress response manifests physiologically and behaviourally.

(Illustration of the limbic system which is the part of the brain involved in our behavioural and emotional responses,)

‘Stress & Steve’, or what stress can look like in lockdown

So one person’s redundancy could be their liberation to get a head start on that novel they wanted to write. For someone else, a redundancy could mean losing their livelihood which creates acute stress that could manifest in a breakdown of mental health and/or the body’s functioning over time.

In a more nuanced example, let’s talk about Steve. He is a traditional kind of guy. He has two young children, both of whom are at home during the lockdown. He is the breadwinner of the house with a full-time job in sales. He has eczema that comes out under stress and is self-conscious of his weight. He finds the lockdown restrictive and it has put a real spanner in his ability to do his job well. He can’t network and sell in a customary way. He has targets to meet. He experiences generalised anxiety for any number of reasons - bills, his mother’s mortality, his younger child who has neurodiversity, and his god damn neighbours who won’t repair their damp wall attached to his home! Over time, his accumulation of stress and anxiety can be hard to pinpoint - it’s omnipresent. He is starting to get itchy from the stress. He is starting to have insomnia because he can’t slow the thoughts down.

Steve wakes up feeling groggy. He nurses himself with coffee. By the afternoon, he crashes and eats something sweet which he knows will aggravate his eczema but he needs to get through another day. Once the children are in bed, he does a bit more work on his laptop with a beer. And then another bottle and another bottle. After many restless days and nights, Steve is agitated. He becomes reactive to his family. His professional persona is being chipped away and he starts to lose his cool with his colleagues. Management is on his case for not being more ‘agile’ enough (read: taking on bigger workloads!) Steve feels under pressure to deliver results and the caffeine and insomnia amplify his stress and anxiety which in addition to eczema, is now felt in sharp pains in his stomach which means he has to spend more time in the toilet. It becomes hard to take his mind off work, he is often in front of a screen by necessity and the eye strain is causing tension headaches. His job contract is up in the next quarter, he has a mortgage to maintain. He doesn’t feel good in his body or secure in himself. Therefore his confidence is on the line which in turn comes across by withdrawing emotionally from his family…

Are there aspects to Steve’s experience that you can relate to or understand? We can see the connectedness of our habituated responses and coping mechanisms to stress. All said we aren’t Steve and even if we experience the same stressful events, how we respond to it differs wildly in each of us. We are complex; factors such as our personality, our mentality, our past, our genetics, our circumstances, our race and class, and so forth influence our ability to cope with stress.

In conclusion, a stressor or event is first experienced through our body and arouses feelings, and then, we interpret it with our minds. Many of us overlook the connection between our minds and bodies. Rather, they are not divorced but have sophisticated ways of communicating if we pay attention to them.

On reflection

How do you experience the stress of Covid-19?

Where do you feel it in your body? What emotions come up?

When does the stress show up, in what scenarios (at night when you lay in bed far removed from other people? Or when you’re in a crowded aisle at the grocery store?)

How do you make sense of the stress? What do you tell yourself? Is it true?

What are your coping mechanisms for stress?

How does stress alter your behaviour? How has your body responded to stress or lockdown (ie. adrenals, digestion, hormones, aches and pains, etc)?

Resources

Draw/write/tell: Your story about a stressful event and what you experienced. Write/tell it in the second person. Are you the protagonist? Or are you a villain? What words did you use to talk about your coping mechansims?

Listen: ‘On Burnout and how to complete the stress cycle’ with Emily and Amelia Nagoski as interviewed by Brené Brown

Read: Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Dr. Peter Levine

Try: Meditation with Tara Brach ‘Being a Kind Witness’

Kendall Beaudry
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